"Baby-led" Schedule

I found this to be a very interesting topic on one of the baby pages I follow on Face Book. It was a post asking if your child is on a "baby-led" schedule or a "parent-led" schedule. My first reaction to this post was, "why would anyone let their child set their own schedule?" I had no idea what these terms meant so I decided to do some research.

 "Baby-led schedules tend to be very loose routines. You follow your baby's lead, meaning you'll look for her cues to decide what she needs next rather than imposing a timetable for feedings, rest, or play. After the first few weeks, most babies form their own fairly regular patterns of sleeping, playing, and eating. But your baby's schedule may vary from day to day depending on the signals she's giving you " -taken from babycenter.com"

"As the name implies, parent-led scheduling means that you set the daily agenda — typically a very specific timetable for when your baby eats, plays, and sleeps. Parents who operate on this kind of schedule rarely deviate it from it. Many say that timing things (sometimes down to the minute) and being extremely consistent allows their baby to regulate his internal clock and gives him the structure he needs to thrive."-babycenter.com

After doing the research on it, I've come to the conclusion that Paisley is mostly on the baby-led schedule with a few tweaks from me.Which in all reality, makes sense. The best advice I got when she was born was not to put her on a schedule, (feeding every two hours), but to let her tell me what she wants and when she wants it. She is on a schedule, but a schedule she has set for herself, I just step in and make sure she takes her naps and doesn't starve herself. Her schedule is usually pretty consistent day to day, although the exact timing as to when she eats and sleeps may not always be the same. She wakes up in the morning, she plays and she lets me know when she is ready for breakfast. I can tell she's ready to eat when she gets a bit cranky and does her hungry whine. Breakfast is usually sometime around 8:30am. Some morning she wont eat breakfast till almost 10am, but of course she doesn't wake up till almost 9am on those mornings either. Lunch time for her is either before or after her nap, usually somewhere between 12-3. When its time for her nap, usually around 1-2pm, she starts yawning and will rub her eyes, and I take her cues and put her down for her nap. She has weaned herself off of taking two naps a day to only taking one nap a day. Which in my opinion, has really helped her to sleep through the night, she only wakes up once now, usually about 9 hours into her sleeping, she eats, and sleeps for 3-4 more hours. Some nights she will sleep for 12-13 hours straight with out any wakings. Dinner is anywhere between 6pm and 7pm. "Baba's", as we call her bottles, are anytime through out the day, and a full (4oz) bottle before nap and bedtime.  Bedtime is usually 8-8:30pm, which means we usually get her ready for bed around 7:30pm each night (this would be a parent-led situation, as everyday at this time she gets ready for bed). She is usually a pretty happy and content baby, unless she is teething or doesn't feel good. We let her set her own schedule, we just make sure she eats and sleeps at decent times so shes not fussy. Being a stay at home mom, there really is no reason to put her on a strict parent led schedule. Now when she starts going to school, we will most likely give her  a strict bed time, but until then, our days go pretty smoothly :) As she gets older, she's likely to change her schedule and could go back to taking two naps a day. As she gets weaned off her formula and baby food, and starts eating table food, her eating schedule is likely to change as well, we just have to follow her leads as too when she is ready for change.

Sleeping

This has been quite an ordeal for us. Getting Miss Paisley to sleep through the night. Nine months old and still waking up multiple times during the night to eat. We put her to sleep, both naps and bed time, while rocking and feeding her then lay her down in bed while still awake, that way she can put herself to sleep. At her Nine month check up her pediatrician told me not to feed her anymore during the night and just let her cry, and that she could cry so hard that she vomits.... seriously??? No way was I going to let her cry so hard that she vomits. I started letting her cry it out. I would feed her, lay her down and she would cry for about 5 minutes before I went back in there to feed her, she would go right to sleep then. I also started to only feed her once in the middle of the night, usually around 1:30am is when she would wake up. Any other times she would wake up I just let her cry (its more like whining).

The cry it out method is very controversial with parents and doctors both. I don't mind letting her cry as long as shes not crying so hard that she vomits. When her pediatrician told me to stop feeding her at night, just do it cold turkey, and let her cry till she vomits, my first thoughts were, "are you serious??? what kind of doctor are you?" The pediatrician doesn't have any kids, so I'm sitting here thinking, "you have no kids, you don't have that kind of bond with something so tiny, you've never felt the pulling at your heart when your child crys... you've never loved something so much that it hurts, you've never sat there and felt the pain of your child crying". Shes read books and went to classes, but she has never had the experience of actually being a mother and having the feelings that come with it. I was so worried about Paisley's bond with me being broken and her feeling unloved, I made my self cry cause I was so worried about it, but her bond with me is stronger than ever and I know she doesn't feel unloved.

anyways.... Paisley went from waking up 3-4 times a night to 0-1 times a night, and I did it my way, I did let her cry, but not like the pediatrician said. Rock and feed, bed, whining sleep... up at 1:30 for feeding, whining back to sleep then up at 8am!! Since I have started this new way of getting her to sleep, she has only been waking up once a night, some nights she evens sleeps through the entire night! I believe in crying it out, but to a certain extent.

Diaper Rashes

The majority of the time we use cloth diapers. The only reason we use disposables is because Paisley gets really bad diaper rashes(caused by her poop) and needs diaper cream to clear it up. I hate the thought of wasting money on disposables and the fact that they will end up in a landfill for hundreds of years. But what is a mom to do when her child has a rash so bad that her lil tushy bleeds? Paisley's diaper rashes are what I call a "poop rash", she will have a bowl movement and wont let me know, sometimes it doesnt even smell, so she will just sit in it until I check her diaper. By that time its too late, the damage has been done. These arent normal rashes, they are deep and cause bleeding, and from what I can see in my daughters face, painful. I try to check her diaper as often as I can, but sometimes im just too late. She also has eczema on her tush and also front diaper area, which we have a steriod cream we have to put on 2x a day. For those diaper changes, I usually will put a diaper liner, either cloth or disposable, in her diaper so the cream wont get on her diapers.
To help clear up these pesky diaper rashes I simply wash her lil tush with aveeno baby wash, or let her soak in an oatmeal bath, ( I grind oatmeal into a powder and dump in tub of warm water, the oatmeal helps sooth her rash). I dry her with my hair dryer using the cold button, I dont want to burn her with the heat of the dryer. For the cream I use on her, I use a mixture of A&D ointment and Desatin max(A&D helps seal the rash and prevents liquid from getting in and desatin helps to heal the rash)and spread it over the infected area at every diaper change. It usually takes about a week to heal up, by that time im soo ready to get her back into cloth diapers.
I know there are biodegradable inserts out there for cloth diaper such as Gdiaper and Flip diaper inserts, but they are more expensive than disposables, and when money is tight, you often opt for the cheaper solution. As for cloth diaper creams, I use California Baby on a daily basis for her, but when she gets her "poop rash", she needs something stronger.
Any ideas on how to avoid these types of rashes or inexpensive cloth diaper safe creams to help treat them?

We're not playing dolls anymore...

I have always wanted to be a  mom. I can remember playing with dolls even in my early teen years. I was always carrying a doll around, my friends didn't know I still played with dolls, I thought they would think less of me if they knew. My belief was that I was put on this earth to be a mother and a mother I was going to be.

Now that I am a mother, I still believe that my reason for being is to be a mom, although its alot tougher than I thought. Maybe its just me, but I think every mom feels like she isn't doing as good of a job as she wants or thought she would. Even though Paisley seems to be a little more advanced for her age, (at least in my mind she is), I feel as if there is  something more I should be doing to help her develop more.

She spends most of her day playing with toys and dragging things all over the house. I feel like when she is playing with her toys and watching her baby TV that I should be doing more, I already try to explain things to her like what shes holding, whats on the TV (the TV she watches is an educational baby channel that teaches all sorts of things, its very educational) but I feel as though its not enough. I am trying to teach her sign language, she is almost 10 months old and I've read that the best time to start learning sign language is between 9 and 10 months. Sign language can help a child be more patient and less demanding, which, if she is anything like me will come in handy. I am also trying to teach her how to read,  (crazy! I know right) but she got volume 1 of  "Your Baby Can Read" for Christmas. I'm a bit skeptical about it, but  we are going to try it and see if it really works. Fingers crossed. The hardest part of the Your Baby Can Read, is trying to get Paisley to sit down and actually watch the DVD. She will sit and do the flash card part, but only for a short period of time before she wants to eat the cards :) She loves playing with books and turning the pages, hopefully she will one day have a great love for reading those books! I don't want to push Paisley, I just want her to have a good life. School was always difficult for me, I always got low grades, and couldn't focus. Even community college was hard for me, so, I just stopped going. I don't want Paisley to follow in her parents foot steps, I want her to have a love for learning, I want her to love going to school, I want her to go to college and make something of herself.  I want her to become someone.

  I always said that I want two kids. Two because I don't want any of my children to think that they are left out or not loved. I am the middle child, and I always felt like I was being left out or that my parents didn't love me as much since I wasn't the first born, nor was I the baby of the family, I don't want my kids to grow up feeling the way I did.  We plan on having another baby in a few years. We aren't, (what I would call us), financially stable at the moment to bring another human being into this world. When I thought about having kids I thought that there would be no money worries and that we could get everything our kids would ever need. With the grateful help of our parents, Paisley does have everything she needs and she will never be without. I don't want to always have to rely on our parents when it comes to raising our child. I want to be financially sound before adding to our family. Our kids deserve nothing but the best.

Being a Full Time Stay At Home Mom

Before having a child, most of my days were spent at work, and I still had time to take care of the house, husband, and hang out with friends every Friday and Saturday. Now with a baby I am home all day and cant seem to find very much time to do house work, not to mention time with friends have gotten few and far between  (you cant take a baby to parties). It has always been my dream to be a full time wife and mommy. As soon as we found out I was pregnant, I knew my dream was going to come true. Before I became a FT-SAHM (full time stay at home mom), I thought it was easy peasy, just sitting around all day watching your children play. Boy was I in for a surprise!

Paisley is now 9 months old and way ahead developmentally. She has always been ahead of the game, she is already walking, rolling her tongue and has a mouth full of teeth! Watching her as she learned to stand and be more mobile became a priority, as she falls and bumps her head alot. Paisley was born with a Hemangioma on her head, Hemangiomas are abnormal overgrowth's of blood vessels that can appear as red or purple lumps in the skin and on other parts of the body. If she was to hit her head in the right spot and bust it, she would have to be rushed to the ER so they can cauterize it to stop the bleeding.

Being home all day with Paisley really ensures that I don't miss out on any milestones. It also lets me parent the way I want to parent instead of having baby sitters or a daycare teach her. I've taught her how to walk, talk and how to clap, how to roll a ball and drink from a straw. She understands alot of words including NO, seems as if we have been saying that work alot lately as she gets into everything, and if  I ask her where something is she can look for it (with her eyes) and lets me know where it is. She is starting to point and wave her hand hi. She is starting to feed herself but is still not ready for alot of big people table food. She can climb stairs and other objects like no other, and even trys to dance. When something scares her she crawls as fast as she can into my lap and snuggles there and waits for my hugs and kisses.

Being a SAHM does have its down falls. Paisley has become very Mommy attached and is unsure of other babies and kids. When out of her environment she becomes really needy and wants me even more.  She is just now starting to be OK going to other people. We left her with my mom last weekend so we could go Christmas shopping, she didn't even cry for me once! I am hoping one day I can find some play dates for her so she can get use to other babies. Being home with her all day can sometimes be very overwhelming. There are days when I cant wait for Matt to come home and take over for a little bit while I have a mommy break. I love my daughter to death, and she is my everything, but sometimes I just need to a lil time to myself.

Putting myself on a schedule is just as important as putting Paisley on one. If I don't have a set day to do laundry or cleaning, who knows when it will get done. Fortunately, Paisley doesn't require a ton of attention when at home, giving me time to do things that I need  to do. She follows me around the house as I clean and sits there and plays with her toys.

We still are not sleeping through the night yet. She wakes up at least 3-4 times a night, sometimes more. Its not that big of a deal though, since I am home all day, I can take naps with her if I want to. We are working on trying to get her to put herself to sleep, right now I rock and feed her to sleep most of the time.


Paisley loves being outside and I try to take her out as much as I can, but most days we just spend inside. Being a SAHM has really made me a home body and I hate it. I wish we could get out more but with only having one vehicle at the moment is really hard. Any chance I get to leave the house I take it!

We are still cloth diapering, 7 months now and  I love it. Just now getting the washing thing down though. Had her in disposables for a while when she had a rash but I finally got ahold of some cloth safe diaper cream and diaper liners, I was so happy to get her back in her cloths :) I'm sure we have saved a ton of money and are also helping the environment.

Paisley has just recently become very attached to one of her blankies. My mom crocheted a blankie while I was in labor and gave it to Miss P. She drags it everywhere, puts it in her mouth and trys to walk with it wrapped around her, she even plays peek-a-boo with it. It has really become her security blanket.

Matt, as a baby, was walking by 9 months and was sure that Paisley would be too, and she is! She gets better and walks longer distances each day without falling. Sometimes she gets so excited that she ends up walking really fast or running. When she falls she gets right back up and keeps on trying. When she wants something she goes for it.


There are times when I miss going to work and parties with friends and buying things for myself  but have come to realize that house work can wait, and real friends will stick by you even if you have a child, and there are always new friends to be made.
With my new life consisting of  poopy diapers, runny noses, fussy teething days, sleepless nights, being up to our eye balls in debt, and having very little time for myself... I look down at my precious baby girl sleeping in my arms, and I know, its all worth it.

The story of my life...

I grew up in the country, raising pigs, goats, rabbits, chickens, cats, dogs, geese... I hated it! I wasn't the country girl that my sisters were. I was a girly girl who wanted to be like every other girl in school. I was the rebel child, I didn't listen to the same music as my sisters, nor did i dress the same way, they were country, I wasn't.
My life really stared when I met my husband Matt in September 2005.

We met on MySpace after both of us had just gone through a break up. We were dating for about 2 years before we moved in together, and a year after that in September 2008 we got married. We moved into our very own house just a month before we were married. Shortly after we got married we went through a rough patch and separated for a few months. Our love was stronger then expected and we found our way back together!

Our life took a dramatic 360' turn July 6 2009 when I found out I was pregnant!

 Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to be a mommy, I can remember carrying a baby doll around up until I was 13 or 14, playing house with my barbie dolls,trying to get my sisters to play with me.
 My dream was finally coming true.

We found out we were having a girl in October of 2009. After that our wallets slimmed dramatically! I went crazy buying things for her, she has more clothes and toys then she really needs.

 I would have had a good pregnancy if it wasn't for sciatica nerve pain. I couldn't stand up for more then about 10-15 unless I was wearing my support belt. I had to quit my job at Gymboree 2 months earlier than i had planned because the pain was so bad. The last 2 months of my pregnancy was spent laying in bed or on the couch. My due date was March 18.  With our last name being O'Connor, it would have been awesome if our daughter was born on March 17, St. Patrick's day... but it didn't happen. Paisley Marie was born on her due date, March 18th at 8:23 PM. My dream had finally come true, I had my precious baby girl in my arms! I was a finally a mom!

Random things about me:
-I am very stubborn, I like things done my way
-I am nosy, I want to know all about whats going on
-I am independent, I like to do things on my own
-I text way too much. I prefer to text rather than talk on the phone
-I am very observant
- I am addicted to cloth diapers
-I have sunny and cloudy days
- I like to present well on good and bad days, even if  I am staying at home
- I like to say what I think and what is on my mind
-I am addicted to Dr. Pepper